Fake and GAY
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Follow up from '=3' of my previous post. Do watch.
Funny! 재미있는
Monday, November 16, 2009
Breaking News: WAYS IN WHICH OBAMA HAS BECOME INFLUENCED BY HIS VISIT TO SINGAPORE
Posted on Sunday, November 15, 2009
Topic: International News
by Kway Png
Sorry, cocksters! We're still on hiatus working on our new projects, but we couldn't help bringing you this dispatch straight from our intelligence sources in Washington DC:
WAYS IN WHICH OBAMA HAS BECOME INFLUENCED BY HIS VISIT TO SINGAPORE
1. Before his trip: “Yes, we can!”
After his trip: “Also can lah!”
2. Wants to rename all the members of the US Army Reserve ‘Operationally Ready USMen.’
3. Has started greeting Vice President Biden with “Eh, relac ah, Joe.”
4. When he calls for a bill in Congress, he mimes a signing action in the air.
5. The Secret Service has begun indicating wherever he’s supposed to sit by placing a packet of tissue paper on his chair.
6. When speaking to foreign heads of state, inexplicably begins to mimic their accents.
7. Staff on Air Force One now all kena wear sarong kebaya.
8. His seat on Air Force One is now also covered with bamboo massage beads and a t-shirt.
9. Describes the explosive situation along the Afghanistan/Pakistan border as ‘Boomz!’
10. Michelle Obama now divides all the crops in the White House vegetable garden into ‘heaty’ and ‘cooling’.
11. Is renaming the White House, the Senate and the Capitol ‘Whitehouseopolis’, ‘Senatopolis’ and ‘Capitopolis’ respectively.
12. Starts referring to immigrants as ‘talent’.
13. Makes Sasha and Malia go for Speech & Drama classes but tells them later on they better dun study arts in university.
14. Has ordered posters of Osama bin Laden’s front and profile to be pasted everywhere, since that worked sooooo well in Singapore.
15. At 11 pm every night, gets hungry and demands that the White House chef whip up a prata telur for him.
16. And a Milo Dinosaur.
17. Asks his lawyers to look into the possibility of suing Fox News for defamation.
18. Has police on the constant lookout for ways to arrest/sue/fix Sarah Palin.
19. New career path for ex-CIA officers: become newspaper columnists and editors.
20. Unsubstantiated rumours start circulating that he’s slapped Hillary.
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What a Day of Reckoning
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
This post is solely for my beloved GERM.
Germ: I'm sorry to hear about the things that happened to you lately. I wish that you don't have to go through such pain, especially coupled with the death of your dog. You must really feel terrible. I believe that karma is a phenomenon one should not toy with. When we treat others with disdain and disrespect, it will ultimately come back to you, sometimes in the worst of ways.
In this case, today was Germ's lowest point in life. 2 Breakups- One with Stan and the other with Angel. I hope with Angel as a name, she must really have gone to the heavens. Bless the dog's soul. May the people there treat Angel way better than the customs officers. These people just know how to laze and "eat snake". They will receive what's due to them soon.
Now on to the other person. Stanley, as your teacher, may you be happy with whomever you choose but just remember, love that's been spit upon will not ever go back to your side. In your future relationships, aim to cherish, love and above all, commit to the person. Never should you lie to anyone the same that you did to germ because the hurt you caused -if on another - may result in serious consequences.
As Germ says: It hurts the most when he means everything to you but you mean nothing to him.
For the readers out there, the following are the lyrics and video to Carrie Underwood's song "Before He Cheats". Let this be a lesson to everyone.
"Before He Cheats"
Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey...
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...
And he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Right now, she's probably up singing some
white-trash version of Shania karaoke..
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo...
And he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats...
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
No...not on me
'Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Oh.. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...
Ohh... before he cheats...
Happy Holidays!
Monday, November 02, 2009
Wow.
What a Day! I was supposed to pass my Management Notes to a friend of mine at CityHall but i ended up oversleeping. Luckily she was not pissed. I had to disappoint my BFF though. The calls you made were unanswered because I was in Heaven. LOL. Sorry.
In the late afternoon, it was badminton time! I gathered my club members and we played till 11pm. There were as many very exciting matches as there were uninspiring ones. I can't believe I lost to Garfield 13-15. Someone said i wasn't concentrating well. Anyways, there is always next week to defeat him yet again.
Back to the topic of employment,the possibility of me being a governess is about 75%. Imagine that,being paid about $2500 monthly for 4 hours a day. This is waaayyyyy better than AMIHELL. DOwn there,I felt like i was serving time in prison. Phew!
It's getting late, that's all there is to post. Good Riddance!
