PsyCHoSociaList

Have a Happy Chinese New Year!! Gong Hei Fatt Choy!

Ah Beng's Job Interview
(Contributed by Wyman Lye)

Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng.
So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"
"The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"Ah Beng got the job.

Sounds like Cow to me

Overheard in an English class.
Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of parents?"
Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother"
Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"
Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents means cowboy's father and mother. Also can say Cowboy's father is Cow Pay & Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo. So together we say Cow Pay Cow Boo (KPKB)" The teacher fainted.

Investments Escaped From Toilet: Town Council
Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Topic: Local News
Local News
by Kway Kah Chng

Bukit Gorblok Town Council has come clean about exactly where all the money it has collected from residents has gone – out the window. Specifically, a toilet window.

Controversy over town council finances has been raging since it was learned that town councils had been investing part of the service and conservancy charges paid by residents for repair and maintenance in high-risk investment products like Lehman Minibombs and High School Musical Notes 5, which have since imploded.

“Residents have been complaining we’re not transparent about where their money went,” said Bukit Gorblok Town Council spokesman Lui Boh Leow. “Well, here at Bukit Gorblok, we’re very transparent about how we invest. So transparent, it’s like looking out a freshly Windexed window.”

According to Mr. Lui, residents’ money escaped through a window in their central office’s toilet, when “some of our finance department wasn’t paying attention”.

The money has yet to be found, despite a “massive nationwide moneyhunt” by the Town Council executive staff.

“It was very unfortunate, we got complacent,” admitted Mr. Lui. “So we’ll take immediate action like firing some low status accountants or clerks.”

“We’ll also be placing posters of our missing money at various places around the constituency, in case people spot it,” he said. “It may be in disguise.”



Mr. Lui asked for calm and level-headedness. “Yes, it is a crisis, but we must never forget our priorities, which are to ensure that our leaders are never questioned too harshly or their positions placed in jeopardy.”

I think a lot of you are pleasantly surprised at the new content on this blog. I have included various content courtesy of TALKINGCOCK.COM >>I do not own any of the content i filched from the aforesaid website. Lols

Be that as it may, i want to write about something else that is of more importance. My students. My worries are really profound to some extent. As i taught more and more students, i discover that their parents play a huge role in their education. I have come across different attitudes and personalities- some of which are quite unsavoury. Some parents actually have zero contribution towards encouraging their children to focus more on studies. Why the fuss? Some of you may say.

REGRET. That's the big fuss. Each year, some students come up to me (after the announcement of PSLE results), and start to bawl their disappointment. And my usual reaction? GREAT ANNOYANCE!! Because i have reminded such students time and time again to prioritise their studies, not their PSPs or current rank in their computer Games.

It's not that i tell them to totally boycott their hobbies. But the thing is, if they do not study adequately, they can even forget about that dream job which allows them to pursue their passions.

The point is: STUDY = SATISFACTION. Do take that to heart, students. You'll be rewarded when the time comes.

“In this economic climate, meeting the public can be literally too hot to handle,” said PAP spokesman Mr. Gerry Mandhir. “As one of our members found out the hard way when some crazy ah pek set him on fire.”

Accordingly, the Party is issuing all its MPs new full-body flame retardant outfits, for use during walkabouts, Meet-The-People sessions, baby contests, constituency dinners, etc.

“If citizens are willing to immolate their MP for giving $200 ang paos,” said Mr. Mandhir, “who knows what they’ll do when they learn that their MPs are also taking $46000 cordon bleu holidays and donno what else. These special suits will ensure that citizens will stay out of our elite, but not fireproof, faces.”

Meanwhile, the Internal Security Department is interrogating the 70 year-old assailant to see if he is part of a terrorist senior citizen network out to harm MPs.

Said ISD spokesman Mr. Kwee Leng Kee, “If citizens want to play with fire, we will give them the air-con treatment.”

© http://www.TalkingCock.com 2001-2003. All rights reserved.

FURBENGS™

Each Furbeng comes with a different repertoire of adorable phrases!

Put them together and they'll cham siong!

Feisty,eh?

Jiro Wang is godawful CUTE! Too bad i can't worship him unless i want to be arrested for blasphemy. Lols. I know, u girls out there, go wipe the drool of your face!

WOOHOO, Andrea may come back for EMS! CQR is set to come too. Heck, i darn look forward to this class. The would-be additions will spice up the atmosphere. yay!

Good day friends! As usual, my usual cheery self belied the pressures i face- ultimately from the family. 2 days ago, both my parents-in-law were hospitalised. My Dad-in-law (or DIL) had some extreme varicose vein problem that resulted in his legs being extremely swollen and the wounds on them leaking plasmal fluid. Icky eh? My Mum-in-law (or MIL) were warded for the sole reason that there was absolutely no one to take care of her, now that her main caregiver's preparing to go under the knife for his legs (My DIL that is).

Therein lies my dilemma. I'm to provide a maid or continue to get her warded. Either way, I'm screwed. Hospital stay could cost substantially more whereas a maid's investment is no insignificant sum either. Haiz. I'll just deal with it. When it comes to problems, i just deal with it and move on. Sometimes, i suspect that i'm too strong and stable for my own good. I'm not allowed to be selfish as an entire household depends on me.

Okies. I'm done being garrulous.

MAJORLY DISAPPOINTED!!! The higher powers that be decided that i could not teach P6 Math. Apparently, the wildfire politicking among the P6ixers had prompted them into changing the P6 Math teacher so that they would have a better idea of the rubbish that's been happening. AND I was flabbergasted! Cos i LOVE LOVE teaching P6 Maths like it was the blood in my veins, or the nailbed of the nails or like air and water. Okies, I'm spluttering with idiotic nonsense.

Oh MAN. i was eagerly looking forward to commandeering the P6 batch, just so that i could prove to myself i'd made good my life. I wanted to be able to take credit for the fantastic improvements in weak students like CQR, CYX, CYY and GYM (you know who you are). Then, i'd have known how good i truly am. OOhh. I can't just tell the powers that be that "No, I wanna teach P6 Math". They'll be thinking that I'm selfish or something. Haiz, I'd better resign myself to my fate.

Okay, i'm doing a little research on creative ways to motivate students. Any ideas, peepz? Do drop me a comment or two yeah.

Great. Early this morning i bothered to check the Ministry of Finance homepage and ended up VERY disappointed! I'd figured out how to sign up for my GST credits and get me some quick buck and quickly realised i was supposed to have done so like a few seconds before midnight;when it was still 31/12/2008. I just can't believe the stupidity of the whole matter!!

Okays, i got over it in 5 minutes time and sought to think about Budget 2009. I mean, everybody and myself alike was filled with trepidation for the recession that has not quite manifested in Singapore and expected more trouble looming in the near future. The government would, as always, come up with fantastic ideas in their Budget programme and i look forward to its announcement. Hopefully, there would be more help for the needy and more targeted help to middle class peeps working in Singapore. But then again, I do not know which class I'd be in. Lols.

Thus far, as i looked back at 2008, i feel really satisfied cos i have achieved things i thought the aimless old me would never have.

2008 started off with me heavily pregnant and waiting to deliver my 2nd child, Asyura. However, i could not enjoy a long confinement break as within a month i had to go back to work. As they say, desperate times called for desperate measures. My hubby couldn't find a job and i had to; my bosses had earlier on offered me a permanent job back at the centre, so i jumped at the chance.

I missed working with T. Susan and was finding it easy with work with her. Soon, another teacher joined us, Teacher Jacqueline. She was a tall, beautiful girl who was waiting for her A levels results. But one fine day, she left. I had no idea what's going on.

By mid-year, Teacher Susan left too. There were some things that I would not divulge as I believe it was not my story to tell. Anyway, it came down to only me, Mr Poh and Ms Ng. We worked hard together, in helping the students. Although at times we seriously needed more manpower, we stuck to keeping our costs down and the students happy. It paid off, HUGE!

By the end of Semestral Exams, we had enormously exciting results. Many failures were turned to successes and students couldn't be any more happier when they received results of their toil and sweat. Believe me, I even had a few miracle workers in my students! The bosses were very satisfied and we look forward to achieving more this year round.

PS: Students, don't ever think we teachers have it easy. We were once students too and know every difficulty you might come across in the quest of knowledge. Trust us and we will guide you to success. Cheers to the New Year!

Resolutions I'd want to keep to: (May sound ridiculous,be warned! -_-)

1. Earn a minimum of 3000 bucks a month.
2. Improve my teaching skills and master the art of controlling P6 students.
3. Lose two-thirds of myself by diet and exercise.
4. Provide for my piglets and needy family
5. Aim for a credit card to exploit 0% instalment payment modes
6. Earn 5000 bucks
7. Be more professional looking.
8. Ensure my coming P6 batch improve by leaps and bounds
9. Conduct exciting classes by experimenting with musical genres
10. Improve delivery methods of teaching

Out of these 10 resolutions, i aim to keep to 9 of them. It is not easy but it's doable. As long as i keep myself grounded and work smart, i'd no doubt fulfill them.

1 thing i do realise is that there are many long holiday stretches this year. Thank God for that. I could get rest without taking leave. Fun eh?