PsyCHoSociaList

“In this economic climate, meeting the public can be literally too hot to handle,” said PAP spokesman Mr. Gerry Mandhir. “As one of our members found out the hard way when some crazy ah pek set him on fire.”

Accordingly, the Party is issuing all its MPs new full-body flame retardant outfits, for use during walkabouts, Meet-The-People sessions, baby contests, constituency dinners, etc.

“If citizens are willing to immolate their MP for giving $200 ang paos,” said Mr. Mandhir, “who knows what they’ll do when they learn that their MPs are also taking $46000 cordon bleu holidays and donno what else. These special suits will ensure that citizens will stay out of our elite, but not fireproof, faces.”

Meanwhile, the Internal Security Department is interrogating the 70 year-old assailant to see if he is part of a terrorist senior citizen network out to harm MPs.

Said ISD spokesman Mr. Kwee Leng Kee, “If citizens want to play with fire, we will give them the air-con treatment.”

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