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Investments Escaped From Toilet: Town Council
Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Topic: Local News
Local News
by Kway Kah Chng

Bukit Gorblok Town Council has come clean about exactly where all the money it has collected from residents has gone – out the window. Specifically, a toilet window.

Controversy over town council finances has been raging since it was learned that town councils had been investing part of the service and conservancy charges paid by residents for repair and maintenance in high-risk investment products like Lehman Minibombs and High School Musical Notes 5, which have since imploded.

“Residents have been complaining we’re not transparent about where their money went,” said Bukit Gorblok Town Council spokesman Lui Boh Leow. “Well, here at Bukit Gorblok, we’re very transparent about how we invest. So transparent, it’s like looking out a freshly Windexed window.”

According to Mr. Lui, residents’ money escaped through a window in their central office’s toilet, when “some of our finance department wasn’t paying attention”.

The money has yet to be found, despite a “massive nationwide moneyhunt” by the Town Council executive staff.

“It was very unfortunate, we got complacent,” admitted Mr. Lui. “So we’ll take immediate action like firing some low status accountants or clerks.”

“We’ll also be placing posters of our missing money at various places around the constituency, in case people spot it,” he said. “It may be in disguise.”



Mr. Lui asked for calm and level-headedness. “Yes, it is a crisis, but we must never forget our priorities, which are to ensure that our leaders are never questioned too harshly or their positions placed in jeopardy.”